Sunday, September 20, 2009

I'm my worst enemy...

I'm my worst enemy. I'm self-defeating. I set myself up for failure. But I blame everyone else for my failure. I make any excuse I can to do/not do x, y, and z. I want things now, not later. If I don't get it now, I'm not patient enough to wait. I wear my heart of my sleeve. I get crushed emotionally and mentally all the time. I secretly despise beautiful people. Okay, maybe it's not so secret anymore. I can't take compliments because I feel I can always be better and do better. I will never be completely satisfied with myself. There are very few things I want out of life, and I'm afraid a few of them will never happen the older I get. I wish more people could look past my faults. Just maybe I don't deserve to be loved because I constantly disappoint them. I hate routine. But maybe that's what I need most. I'm not looking for pity...I'm just beating myself up right now. I wish I could re-live most of my life; I'd do a thousand things differently. I guess I shouldn't live in the past.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

2009 Trans-Amazon Expedition

In September, expedition leader Joseph Hochman from Austin, Texas and his expedition partner, Timothy Hawkins, will embark across the South American continent on an ambitious descent of the Amazon River in a canoe. The trip will span three months and 2,500 miles through breathtaking rainforest ecosystems from Yurimaguas, Peru to the river's terminus in Belem, Brazil.

The expedition has a higher purpose than mere adventure travel. The team is collaborating with Rainforest Partnership, an Austin-based nonprofit dedicated to the cause of equatorial deforestation. Rainforest Partnership has an innovative approach in that it links deforestation's global impact on climate change to people who can help in local indigenous communities. The journey provides a personal account of a vibrant ecosystem facing these living, ongoing issues of human-environmental interactions.

Tim is a good friend of mine, and I am excited about this wonderful opportunity that he has. Joseph and Tim are tracking their trip through TripTracker.net, and also maintain a group on Facebook. Please join them on their journey through the Amazon!

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Universal Health Care Coverage

Now through the end of July, you will have the ability to vote on whether or not the United States should implement a bill that allows every American to have health care coverage. This has been a very hot topic, and each week I will highlight something for you to consider. So vote now if you want to, or wait until the last moment; it's all up to you!

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Africa: The Uganda Flag

The black stripes symbolize the African people. The yellow symbolizes the sun and the red stands for brotherhood and fraternity. The crested crane is a national symbol of Uganda - which was first used during British colonial times. Black, yellow and red were also the colors of the Uganda People's Congress party, who came to power in elections in April 1962.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Health Alert! Excessive Cola Consumption

Excessive Cola Consumption Can Lead To Super-sized Muscle Problems, Warn Doctors

ScienceDaily (2009-05-20) -- Doctors have issued a warning about excessive cola consumption after noticing an increase in the number of patients suffering from muscle problems. Evidence is increasing to suggest that excessive cola consumption can lead to hypokalaemia, in which blood potassium levels fall, adversely affecting vital muscle functions. Symptoms can range from mild weakness to profound paralysis. Worldwide consumption of soft drinks was 83 litres per person per year in 2007 and is expected to rise to 95 litres in 2012. But it has already hit 212 litres in the USA. ... > read full article

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Africa - Support Raising

I'M GOING TO AFRICA!!! Say what?!?!?! I'M GOING TO AFRICA!!!

I have an exciting opportunity this summer! From August 9th - 19th, I have the privilege of traveling to Jinja, Uganda with a team from my church, Austin Christian Fellowship (ACF) to join God in His work there. We will be caring for orphans at a babies’ home in a village called Bukaleba, visiting impoverished communities, serving students in schools, and building relationships with individuals living with HIV/AIDS. Simply, we are going to Uganda as servants and learners.

This experience will also allow me to decide if humanitarian work is what I want to do with my life and to what extent. I have been toying with the idea of joining the Peace Corps since college, and more recently I have been contemplating working with Doctors Without Borders or Mercy Ships. I have this huge heart to serve and go places where others do not want to go to help. Did you know that the life expectancy at birth in Uganda is 49 years for men and 51 years for women? Twenty-five percent of all deaths in Uganda are due to HIV/AIDS. I want to inspire, encourage, enlighten, touch, and help those living in Uganda. This will be my first missions trip out of the United States. I have helped locally with lunch and church programs for the homeless under the I-35 bridge and have gone on trips to Galveston , TX to help rebuild after Hurricane Ike. All have been amazing experiences and I cannot wait to go to Uganda.

The purpose of this post is to ask you to be a part of my support team. I am also asking you to pray about being an extension of my team by supporting me financially. The cost of the trip will be $2,700 and this will cover airfare, room and board, insurance, and ground transportation.

Even if you choose not to donate financially, please let me know if you would like to join my prayer team. If you choose to provide financial support, you can do so online, please go to ACF's online giving page.

1. If you do not attend ACF, then click on the "Give Now, Non-Attenders" button. It will ask that you register as a non-member of ACF by giving some personal information. Complete the information, type in the alpha numeric password on the screen, and you are in. Once in, you can immediately give by choosing the "Africa Mission Trip" under the heading "Give To," choose the amount, and write "Michelle-Africa" in the "Optional Memo" line. To give an additional time, it will ask that you change your password, so that you can return to the site again using the ACS non-member login.

2. If you attend ACF, then use the "Give Now, Registered Attenders" button. If you are not yet registered, please fill out the "Get Plugged In email" and instructions will be sent to you within 48 hours. Once registered, log on using the Access ACS member login. Once in, you can immediately give by choosing the "Africa Mission Trip" under the heading "Give To," choose the amount, and write "Michelle-Africa" in the "Optional Memo" line.

Donations can be tax-deductible. It is requested that contributions be received by June 9, 2009.

I will be continually blogging about my adventures before, during, and after my trip to Uganda. Thank you so much for the support!

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Indecision wastes time

I won't lie; I'm indecisive at times, but I was thinking about it quite a bit lately and it just wastes time. I'm going to make decisions and stick to it. I value my time. It's the one thing I ask people to respect. I work 40 hours at a minimum per week (if I'm traveling, more). I'm at the gym 2-3 hours per day. Commuting takes 1-2 hours per day; daily hygiene is about two hours per day. And I like to sleep at least six hours per night. I don't have a lot of extra time to waste in a given day.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Am I really happy?

I thought I had it all the past few months. I had a reliable relationship with a fantastic guy who lived 900ish miles from me. People in high places have been acknowledging my work. I have great friends and an active life - volunteering and being outdoorsy. Who really would want anything more? Why would I need to lose more weight when I was comfortable in my own skin?

Then, I did what I always did. I relied on other people for my happiness. I volunteer because I like to see people's joy in what I do...it makes me happy. My boyfriend DID make me happy, but then things took a turn for the worse, and that's when I felt my life was crumbling - I relied too much on him. I dived into my work further, just to get pleasure from people's compliments. I put too much of my happiness based on other people and not on myself. While I still exuded confidence superficially, deep down I was not confident in anything about me.

The more I worked out the past couple of weeks, the more I have felt confident in myself. I've taken a few day trips in the area by myself and have been finding comfort in my own skin. I still realize I don't know how to balance my love and happiness to help others with keeping my confidence in myself. Will I always go through these crazy cycles time and time again?

At the end of the day, I am with myself. I can only rely on myself. I need to stop focusing my attention on others and occasionally I can be stingy and demand others to focus their attention on me as well. I don't always have to be the giver.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Wednesday Weigh-In: 02/12/09

Weight Statistics
Starting Weight (1/1/05): 366.00
Weight Started with Matt (5/14/07): 342.00
Current Weight (2/12/09): 284.50
Weight Loss To Date: 81.50 lbs
% Body Weight Loss: 22.3%


Measurement Statistics
Starting Total Inches (10/26/06): 258.25
Total Inches Started with Matt (5/14/07): 247.50
Current Total Inches (2/12/09): 219.5
Total Inches Lost To Date: 38.75 in

Sunday, February 08, 2009

1 Corinthians 13:13

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

*Life Application Note: In morally corrupt Corinth, love had become a mixed-up term with little meaning. Today people are still confused about love. Love is the greatest of all human qualities, and it is an attribute of God himself (1 John 4:8). Love involves unselfish service to others; to show it gives evidence that you care. Faith is the foundation and content of God's message; hope is the attitude and focus; love is the action. When faith and hope are in line, you are free to love completely because you understand how God loves.*

Without faith, I don't have hope. Without faith and hope, I cannot love. I cannot love myself or others. That's the thing I struggle with most - loving myself and forgiving myself.

Exercise Talk: Training For My 10K

Week 5 Goals (Minimum):
Monday: stretch and 90 min cross training
Tuesday: strength
Wednesday: 45 min cross training; 2 mile run
Thursday: strength and 60 min cross training
Friday: 2 mile run and 60 min cross training
Saturday: 90 minute cross training
Sunday: 3.0 mile run

Week 4 Accomplishments:
Monday: 105 min cross training (elliptical)
Tuesday: strength
Wednesday: 2.0 mi run (26:00 min); 30 min elliptical; 10 min track walk
Thursday: strength
Friday: 60 min cross training (walk/run only ran about 0.75 miles)
Saturday: rest
Sunday: 3.0 mile run (outdoors)

How am I feeling going into Week 6? One word: Tired. My trainer recommend certain vitamins to take to help with muscle soreness, so I'm going to give them a shot. I am superly encouraged to be enjoying the outdoor running with friends, even though we split up to be at our own paces. They always wait at the end for me, which is super sweet! (Thanks Ladies!) Now I just gotta get that nutrition back on track.

Week 6 Goals (Minimum):
Monday: stretch and 90 min cross training
Tuesday: strength and 2.5 mile run
Wednesday: 60 min cross training
Thursday: strength and 60 min cross training
Friday: 2 mile run and 60 min cross training
Saturday: rest
Sunday: 3.5 mile run

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Exercise Talk: Training For My 10K

Week 4 Goals (Minimum):
Monday: stretch and 90 min cross training
Tuesday: strength, 60 min cross training, 1.5 mi run
Wednesday: 90 min cross training
Thursday: strength and 60 min cross training
Friday: 1.5 mile run and 60 min cross training
Saturday: 60 minute cross training
Sunday: 2.5 mile run

Week 4 Accomplishments:
Monday: 90 min cross training (elliptical)
Tuesday: strength
Wednesday: 1.5 mi run (19:30 min); 32 min elliptical; 10 min track walk; 20 min outdoor walk
Thursday: strength
Friday: 60 min cross training (elliptical); 1.5 mi run (19:10 min); 20 min walk
Saturday: 1.5 hour hike
Sunday: 2.5 mile run (outdoors)

How am I feeling going into Week 5? One word: FANTASTIC! My knees hurt a little bit, and I'm not sure how the new shoes are working out. I'm not sure if I'm getting shin splints because of the new shoes or if because I'm running the longer distances in my old worn out shoes. We'll see how all that works out, but I'm kind of pumped for this coming week! Especially since I'll be at 5K mileage this weekend!

Week 5 Goals (Minimum):
Monday: stretch and 90 min cross training
Tuesday: strength
Wednesday: 45 min cross training; 2 mile run
Thursday: strength and 60 min cross training
Friday: 2 mile run and 60 min cross training
Saturday: 90 minute cross training
Sunday: 3.0 mile run

Monday, January 26, 2009

Exercise Talk: Training For My 10K

Week 3 Goals (Minimum):
Monday: stretch and 1.5 mi run (outdoors)
Tuesday: strength and 90 min cross training
Wednesday: 1 mile run and 60 min cross training
Thursday: strength and 60 min cross training
Friday: 1 mile run and 60 min cross training
Saturday: 60 minute cross training
Sunday: 2.0 mile run

Week 3 Accomplishments:
Monday: stretch and 1.5 mi run (outdoors)
Tuesday: strength and 60 min cross training (elliptical)
Wednesday: 60 minute cross training (treadmill, 1.0 mi run - intervals)
Thursday: strength
Friday: rest
Saturday: stretch and 60 minutes treadmill (inc. 1.0 mile run)
Sunday: 2.1 mile run and 60 minutes cross training (elliptical)

How am I feeling going into Week 4? One word: ALLERGIES! It was the attack of the allergies with our cedar pollen count getting near 40,000 for two days in a row. I had sinus blockage which lead to my ears popping all the time, which left me dizzy! Finally got to the doctor on Friday and am on some steroids, which have been working! The steroids that I'm on also help reduce inflammation, I think that's been helping me in the long run! Onto Week 4...

Week 4 Goals (Minimum):
Monday: stretch and 90 min cross training
Tuesday: strength, 60 min cross training, 1.5 mi run
Wednesday: 90 min cross training
Thursday: strength and 60 min cross training
Friday: 1.5 mile run and 60 min cross training
Saturday: 60 minute cross training
Sunday: 2.5 mile run

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Others have faith...

...and I lost mine along the way. There are a few people at the gym that genuinely motivate me. My one friend, Len, has the best timing ever. One time, while running stairs for my trainer, he helped me finish them out, made me keep up with him. Pushed me to my limits. Today, when I was running two miles, he showed up by my side at 1.6 miles in. I was struggling to get through; my knees were starting to hurt, but I was trying so hard not to lose focus on the goal. The remaining 0.4 miles, I didn't even know I did because we were chatting and catching up.

Why do I keep losing focus on my goals? I really need to just suck it up and do it. Stick to my rules and stop screwing up. It's just nice to have friends to help out along the way.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Exercise Talk: Training for My 10K

Week 2 Goals (Minimum):
Monday: stretch and 60 min cross training
Tuesday: strength and 0.75 mile run
Wednesday: 90 minute cross training
Thursday: 1 mile run / strength
Friday: rest
Saturday: 60 minute cross training
Sunday: 1.5 mile run

Week 2 Accomplishments:
Monday: stretch and 90 min cross training (Town Lake walk)
Tuesday: strength and 60 min cross training (elliptical)
Wednesday: 60 minute cross training (treadmill, 0.75 mi run)
Thursday: 1 mile run / strength
Friday: 40 min cross training (walk)
Saturday: Galveston - hard labor
Sunday: rest

How am I feeling going into Week 3? I'm pretty excited for the challenge. I'm not feeling the greatest due to my allergies, and I fell up the stairs yesterday so my shin is severely bruised, but I think I can do it! Starting Feb 1st, I'm going to have some running buddies who are training for a triathlon, so it'll be a nice change. Onto Week 3...

Week 3 Goals (Minimum):
Monday: stretch and 1.5 mi run (outdoors)
Tuesday: strength and 90 min cross training
Wednesday: 1 mile run and 60 min cross training
Thursday: strength and 60 min cross training
Friday: 1 mile run and 60 min cross training
Saturday: 60 minute cross training
Sunday: 2.0 mile run

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Notes from my journal this weekend

Hurricane damage in Galveston, TX four months after Hurricane Ike hit. Yes, that is a boat crushing a truck in a store's parking lot. Within 0.5 miles on this road, there were four boats in different parking lots and many had been tagged either by angry residents or gangs.

September 13, 2008
My sister and I packed our bags and left Kauai for Oahu. In the back of my mind I knew Texas' coast was going to be battered by Hurricane Ike, but I didn't know how bad it would be. Galveston - demolished. Only one house standing for miles.


November 7, 2008
John and I drove to New Orleans for a mini-vacation since neither of us had gone before. On our drive out there, we still saw overturned boats in the bayou and houses falling halfway in three years after Hurricanes Katrina and Rita. New Orleans painted a different picture. The B&B we stayed at was in a dying neighborhood. Businesses vanished; the homeless and unwanted (there is a difference) were on the streets. I was haunted by the newspaper images of doors with orange spray painted numbers indicated the number of dead in the home. Homes where all walks of life had lived. A city that is still recovering.


December 13, 2008
John and I split. He told me that in the long run he would hold me back from my dreams, and in the end I would hate him for it. John believed it was in my best interest; I believe it was in his, so I wouldn't tie him down.

The loneliness has been unbearable at times. I gave him everything I had - emotionally, mentally, and physically. In my mind the two of us were no longer individuals, but rather a couple. In the end, he still rejected me. I wasn't good enough. I began to question who I am and what I am about. Who am I? What causes do I believe in? Do I truly believe in God? Why is it so hard for me to let go? Can two people form one union but still be unique in their identities? Why have I lost hope in the human race? Are people really that materialistic and conceited? Do I expect too much? Do I live too little? Will I ever be content and happy? Will I ever stop fearing? Why can't I just stop thinking and start doing? What keeps me from going all in?

My soul is unsettled, and I need to find peace with the decisions I have made this past year. From this day forward it is my quest to find myself in the rubble.


January 16, 2009
I drove with two strangers for five hours to Galveston. Excitement. Nerves. Anxiety. Ninety-five people from Austin, Dallas, Houston, and Mississippi united and got their hands dirty together. I am amazed at how generous and helpful people are in a time of need even when they are in need. Survivors of Hurricane Katrina, people who still need help rebuilding, have helped us rebuild from Hurricane Ike. It comforts me knowing that there are strangers who can give unconditionally and without expectation. While the number of selfish people in this world still outnumber the generous, my faith is slightly restored in humanity.


January 17, 2009
Jenny, her mom, and I got up early to walk on the beach and see how bad the damage is from the hurricane still. The one thing that affected me the most was the door frame that stood where a mobile home once did. While we took the opportunity for a photo op, it felt creepy to do so. Somebody's life was destroyed because of the hurricane.

We went back to the church for breakfast and prayer followed by going to our assigned houses. Before we left, this man in overalls and long hair drove up on a scooter, handed a Valentine's bear to Jenny and a school bear to Aletha, grinned, and left without saying a word. We ended up calling the episode "the teddy bear drive by." Later in the evening, a lady who has been serving with Mobile Loaves and Fishes said a guy looking exactly like our teddy bear driver went up to their trailer as they were handing out drinks and food, told them he didn't want anything (by answering all their questions with one word) and threw five dollars at them. This mystery man will always make us wonder what his intent and purpose was, but he put a smile on our faces with his random act of teddy bear kindness. He will be in my prayers.

When we got on-site, we were debriefed about the two houses. Both owners were disabled; one rented the house to her sister who nearly destroyed the place. The lady's mom was never supportive and she only made $200 per week while living in California, yet she is putting her niece through college. I was happy to see the owners contribute to the cleanup. In the morning, a neighbor offered drinks out of the generosity of her heart.

The lady across the street came by with a walking cane. She had stayed with her son for a few months and had to gut her downstairs. She was still recovering from the storm and was glad that we were helping her neighbors so that their living conditions could improve and they could move back.

The three of us from Austin Christian Fellowship (ACF) worked with a team of 18 from Long Beach, Mississippi. ACF has a long relationship with that community in Mississippi as we helped them rebuild after Hurricane Katrina. I have never worked with a greater group of people. And the kids who were working with us were so well-mannered, open, and generous. I hope someday that my kids are exactly like that.


January 18, 2009
Somehow hope still exists in this Galveston community. I think people bring hope to the city; we brought hope. The hope is not just that someday their city will be back to normal, but also that people care. Hurricanes destroy; people rebuild. I could never be able to, yet I keep destroying my life to constantly have to rebuild. I have the hope that I can rebuild my crushed heart and soul. This trip was the first step.

Admist the rubble, just a door stands from a mobile home.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Wednesday Weigh-in: 1/14/09

Weight Statistics
Starting Weight (1/1/05): 366.00
Weight Started with Matt (5/14/07): 342.00
Current Weight (1/14/09): 283.20
Weight Loss To Date: 82.80 lbs
% Body Weight Loss: 22.6%


The FANTASTIC
I lost 2.6 lbs this week!
Farmer Market Wednesdays - Now that I changed my training schedule to mornings, I can make a much more convenient Farmer's Market! :)

The Good
I don't think it was exercise-induced asthma. :)
My body is sore from working out so much.

The Bad
My body is sore from working out so much.
Lactose-intolerance is definitely getting to me!
The New Year Resolutioners are bothering me at the gym. I wish them luck, but it is interfering with my training schedule!
::sigh:: I'm really missing the guy I was dating.

The Ugly
I've been having dizzy spells the past few days. I'll need to keep an eye on that.
I've been living minimally this week, including the grocery shopping!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Exercise Talk: Training For My 10K

Week 1 Goals (Minimum):
Monday: strength and stretch
Tuesday: 0.5 mile run
Wednesday: 60 minute cross training
Thursday: 0.75 mile run / strength
Friday: rest
Saturday: 60 minute cross training
Sunday: 1 mile run

Week 1 Accomplishments:
Monday: stretch and 60 min cross training (elliptical)
Tuesday: strength, 60 min cross training (cycle), 0.5 mile run
Wednesday: 45 min cross training (elliptical), 30 min walking
Thursday: strength and 15 min walking
Friday: rest
Saturday: 30 min cross training (treadmill, inc 0.75 mile run), 60 min cross training (elliptical)
Sunday: 60 min cross training (treadmill, inc 1 mile run)

How am I feeling going into Week 2? Well, after a pretty good Week 1, I'm ready for the challenge. I am nervous about the longer upcoming runs, but I have to remind myself one day at a time. I will not do back-to-back runs again, my legs are really sore tonight. Other than that, I think things went pretty well. Onto Week 2...

Week 2 Goals (Minimum):
Monday: stretch and 60 min cross training
Tuesday: strength and 0.75 mile run
Wednesday: 90 minute cross training
Thursday: 1 mile run / strength
Friday: rest
Saturday: 60 minute cross training
Sunday: 1.5 mile run

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Going Green: Say What?!?!?!

I had always heard that electronics draw electricity even if they're not on, but I never realized how much that possibly could be until I stumbled across a website called Standby Power by the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory. Since I'm trying to save to buy a house this year, starting next month, I'm unplugging to see what a difference this could make in my electricity bill. I'll let you know! Anybody up to the challenge as well?

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Treating AIDS Is Not A Crime

Iran, Free Doctors Arash & Kamiar Alaei
(an exert from the website)

"Doctor Arash Alaei and Doctor Kamiar Alaei are two Iranian physicians who have reportedly been detained in Iran by Iranian authorities. The physicians, who are brothers, were apparently arrested at the end of June, 2008 and their current whereabouts are unknown. Physicians for Human Rights calls on the government of Iran to disclose their whereabouts, provide them access to lawyers and family, and either to charge them with an internationally recognized crime or release them immediately.

Doctor Arash Alaei and Doctor Kamiar Alaei have played a role in putting the issues of drug use and HIV/AIDS on Iran’s national health care agenda. They have worked closely with government and religious leaders to ensure support for education campaigns on HIV transmission, including those targeting youth, and for HIV and harm reduction programs in prisons.

Since completing their medical training, the brothers have worked in AIDS research in Iran, and along with other clinicians and advocates, helped make the country a leader in prevention and treatment of HIV and AIDS. They played a part in the creation of Iran’s HIV/AIDS prison program, one of the best in the region if not the world. The program passes out condoms and syringes in the prisons, one of only a handful of countries globally doing so. The doctors have also shared their knowledge with neighboring countries by holding training workshops for Afghan and Tajik health professionals.

Family, friends, and colleagues from around the world are deeply concerned for the brothers’ well-being. It is urged that you to take action today to ensure their human rights are protected and they are reconnected with their family."

On December 31, 2008, the brothers were tried in a one-day secret army trial. The brothers have been charged with attempt to overthrow the Iranian government and a number of secret charges that the governement would not share with doctors' attorney. A verdict is expected on Saturday.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Wednesday Weigh-In: 01/07/09

Weight Statistics
Starting Weight (1/1/05): 366.00
Weight Started with Matt (5/14/07): 342.00
Current Weight (1/7/09): 285.80
Weight Loss To Date: 80.20 lbs
% Body Weight Loss: 21.9%


The FANTASTIC
I lost 6.6 lbs this week!
I'm back into my exercise program.

The Good
I'm not stressing about work.
I'm starting to figure out what I'm all about again.
I'll be helping rebuild Galveston next weekend after Hurricane Ike!

The Bad
I'm still sick.
My cholesterol is still a littler bit higher than it should be, but not in a danger zone or anything.

The Ugly
I am praying that I do not have exercise-induced asthma. I'm hoping it's just my lungs learning how to breath better when I exercise at a higher intensity for a longer duration.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

My Fatal Flaw

I have a fatal flaw that makes me self destruct. It's a mental thing, and I think it re-occurred this past year. Would you like to know what my fatal flaw is? The one that I will have to continue to battle day after day?

My fatal flaw is the fear of failure. I quit before I can fail.

Why? It's easier, but it's not always better. I am not going to quit this fight.

Ben Harper - Fight Outta You

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Exercise Talk: Training For My 10K

Last year, I said to another person who trains with my trainer, "We're going to run the Capitol 10K with a chip time next year!" Well, I'm not sure if she's going to, but I'm training for it - starting tomorrow.

I'm lucky in the respect that I'm friends with so many trainers at my gym, and they all have different areas of expertise. Kellen runs. Kellen runs marathons at really fast paces. I think Kellen even does triathlons. He knows how to train people in this area or at least make recommendations. Kellen actually recommended that I join a running group, but I'm trying to save cash so I took his (and Matt's) other advice and looked on the web for a training program. I found a few, but only one really seemed probable for me: Hal Higdon's Novice 10-K Training. It's an eight week program, but I have decided to take it back an additional four weeks, using the same kind of method.

Week 1 Goals (Minimum):
Monday: strength and stretch
Tuesday: 0.5 mile run
Wednesday: 60 minute cross training
Thursday: 0.75 mile run / strength
Friday: rest
Saturday: 60 minute cross training
Sunday: 1 mile run

I might have a rocky start because I'm just starting to feel better from this nasty cold I've had since New Year's, but I'm going to give it a shot!

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Going Green: Pack Your Lunch!

Not only is it healthy for you, it's healthy for the environment too! Here's a few pointers to having a "Green" lunch! (From: The Daily Green)

1. Pack your lunch in a reusable lunch bag or box
2. If you bring your lunch in a paper or plastic bag, reuse or recycle them
3. Use plastic containers and silverware that can be washed and used again
4. Switch to organic food and drinks
5. Drink from the fountain or a water filtration system instead of bringing water bottles
6. Recycle your soda cans, bottles and aluminum foil
7. Use a washable napkin instead of paper towels
8. Walk to a lunch eatery if you forgot to pack it

I admit it, I'm a culprit to the third one (using plastic ware and throwing it away) and the seventh one. What can you improve on?

Friday, January 02, 2009

Quiz Friday




You Act Like You Are 23 Years Old



You are a twenty-something at heart. You feel like an adult, and you're optimistic about life. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

You're still figuring out your place in the world and how you want your life to shape up. The world is full of possibilities, and you can't wait to explore many of them.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Music That Moves The Soul

I listen to a lot of music, especially when I work out. some songs in my workout playlist are not fast, upbeat, break-a-sweat kind of songs most would listen to, but I still listen to them during my workouts because they somehow inspire me. The song below is one of them, and has helped me tremendously during my "breakup" a few weeks ago. (There isn't an official video that the artist has compiled, but I did find this tribute on YouTube from DentProductions.)



The song itself is very soothing, but the following chorus is what gets me every time: "Hold your own, And know your name, And go your own way." I am only given one name in this life and I have to stay true to myself - my values, my beliefs, and my opinions. When somebody brings up my name in a conversation, what and how do they think of me as a person? How do I want to perceived by myself and others? I don't want to be thought of as the "girlfriend of so-and-so;" I am uniquely me. I need to go my "own way" and re-establish who I am individually.



Jason Mraz - Details In The Fabric lyrics

(Feat. James Morrison)

Calm down
Deep breaths
And get yourself dressed instead
Of running around
And pulling all your threads saying
Breaking yourself up

If it's a broken part, replace it
If it's a broken arm then brace it
If it's a broken heart then face it

And hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your own name
And go your own way

And everything will be fine
Everything will be fine
Mmmhmm

Hang on
Help is on the way
Stay strong
I'm doing everything

Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way

And everything, everything will be fine
Everything

Are the details in the fabric
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling?

Are the things that make you blow
Hell, no reason, go on and scream
If you're shocked it's just the fault
Of faulty manufacturing.

Yeah everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Everything

Hold your own
And know your name
And go your own way

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling? (Go your own way)

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)
Are the things that make you panic (Go your own way)
Is it Mother Nature's sewing machine?

Are the things that make you blow (Hold your own, know your name)
Hell no reason go on and scream
If you're shocked it's just the fault (Go your own way)
Of faulty manufacturing

Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Hearts will hold

Lyrics Jason Mraz lyrics - Details In The Fabric lyrics

New Year, New Beginnings

Here's my "Wednesday Weigh-In" but on New Year's. It's a new year; it's a new commitment to weight loss.


Weight Statistics
Starting Weight (1/1/05): 366.00
Weight Started with Matt (5/14/07): 342.00
Current Weight (1/1/09): 292.40
Weight Loss To Date: 73.60 lbs
% Body Weight Loss: 20.1%


The FANTASTIC
I'm re-committed.
I'm starting a training program so that I can run a 10K at the end of March.

The Good
I only gained 0.8 lbs in the past two weeks. I think I conquered the holidays pretty well.

The Bad
I'm really sick right now. I shouldn't have gone out last night, but I did...
I had to cut down the number of sessions I train with my trainer.

The Ugly
I've gained a lot of weight since September (11ish pounds) and I've been avoiding the whole blogging issue because of that. I hate disappointing people, my trainer, my friends, and myself.
I only lost about six pounds this year.