Thursday, February 28, 2008

Procrastinated Confession

I have been procrastinating this post for some time now, but since a few of you have been noticing that I have not posted in awhile, I figured it's time to confess... I fell off the bandwagon big time, and one of the easiest ways to know that I have is when I don't post to my blog at least a few times per week.

I do have to say, even though I live in sunny Austin, I went through a couple weeks of winter blues where I had no desire what-so-ever to exercise. The adrenaline that I got from working out decreased, so I looked to other things to keep going...aka sugar, the worst thing possible for a dieter, or, in my case, a lifestyle changer. I became addicted to sugar again, and last week was not too pretty when I tried to detox from it.

A couple weeks ago, Matt (my trainer) made me promise to go to the gym every day for a week to try and get out of my slump. I had the hardest time telling him of my woes because I knew it would make him upset and sad. He has put a lot of himself in me, not just work-wise either. Anyway, I did work out for a week straight, and was going strong on my second week until yesterday. Sundays have become my "day out of the gym" exercise day for variety. Last Sunday I played sand volleyball for 3.5 hours, and the week before I hiked probably 7 miles or so in the greenbelt. My nutrition is not completely back to normal, but I'm working on it.

Man, this post sounds depressing. What have I learned through all of this? WELL...Matt is right yet again, I'm sometimes way too hard on myself. I need to work on forgiving myself. I can forgive others pretty easily, but for some reason if I screw up myself, I just can't do it. And that's how I spiraled down.

I could blame this on the new guys that are in my life, but that would be just another excuse and I'm tired of excuses. I need to step my game back up, it's just super hard to do so when I have so many exciting things outside the gym occurring.

SO...for accountability...I weighed in this afternoon (usually I do this in the morning before my morning workout, but I haven't had one of those in weeks) at 295, last week I was 293. I may be retaining some water due to my sodium intake last night, but who knows. I have started logging my food again, so that should help.

Thanks to those who noticed my disappearing act...I've been procrastinating my confession for about week now, but now you and the world know it.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Setting Her Free

Setting Her Free is a blog I try to read regularly about a wonderful woman's journey to becoming healthy. I never thought I would be able to relate to Heather because she is absolutely beautiful, but I have been thinking about what "setting her free" really means.

Although I still weight 290 pounds, still obese by all means, I have been extremely happy, it's like the endorphins have kicked into overdrive. Even when I have an extremely bad day (have had plenty these days at work), after I take it out at the gym, it's like a burden is lifted off my back. My confidence is higher than ever and I'm getting bolder by the day. I truly feel my new lifestyle has set me free, and that is part of my happiness.

And when you're happy, people notice and people talk to you because they want to know you. They want to know your secrets.

This isn't just a physical journey, it is also a mental and emotional one.