Sunday, March 03, 2013

God blows me away (again)

I sin not just because I am a sinner, but I sometimes sin to test my Christian friends.  Although it has not been intentional by any means, it has become habitual over time.

When I was in college, our Christian club on campus had two groups of people belong to it.  The first group were those who were Christians through and through.  Yes, they did sin, but they tried to be true Christ-followers as best as a sinner could.  The second group, on the other hand, had no obedience to the Lord.  They consumed alcohol in excess and frequently did drugs.  These Christians, seemed to be more in the majority than the other.  I do have to say, though, while I was in college, I was still trying to find my way when it came to religious beliefs, and these observations left me with a bad taste in my mouth.

After some reflection of what was being taught at the Verge Conference, I realized that because of my past, I  actually test my Christian friends to see whether or not they will say anything about my sins.  One instance includes while being at church, the pastor asked, by a show of hands, who had been baptized since that is a first step in obedience.  I truthfully answered by not raising me hand while I sat with 3-4 Christian friends.  Nobody has talked to me about baptism.  Since baptism has been weighing on my heart for some time, I have actually started some discussions with a member of the church staff in which I trust.

Over the years I have become a more bold Christian.  I'm not afraid to let people know I am a Christian.  I have questioned friends when I feel like they have become unglued from their faith.  I wish I had those close friends who would do that for me.  I need to grow as a Christian, and sometimes a person does not know their flaws unless somebody uses it as a teaching point.  I know I'm sensitive, but at the women's workshop at the conference, the speaker made me feel better.  Christian men and women need to know and realize that when discipling a woman, it is going to be emotional and messy; there will be tears, and that is okay.  As long as I am not feeling attacked and I feel the person truly wants me to grow and develop in my faith, I will not be hurt indefinitely.  If anything, it will grow me closer to God.