Life Complications

Originally I was not going to post about this because a couple of my close co-workers stop on by every now and then, BUT they are also co-workers that I would talk openly about this, so I've decided to post about it none-the-less.

I have always had the desire to move to Boston. There is a position like mine in every state, and Zi has been in that position in Massachusetts (MA) for quite some time. On 12/14/07, I received an e-mail from Zi letting the group of us know that he was resigning from his position and wanted us to forward the job description to any qualified candidates. I have prayed endlessly about this. Almost everybody has told me to apply just in case, but I'm still uncertain. I haven't decided if this is a blessing from God or a curse from Satan.

Zi and I have a good working relationship, so I called him yesterday to discuss his position and I wanted his overall honest opinions about the work environment. Let's just say, he's a man of careful words. His supervisor called me today to discuss it as well and they seem to be VERY interested. Now there is the possibility that I will not get it (like any job), and I would probably be competing against some stiff competition, people working at Harvard, Boston University, and some private firms. In addition, my supervisor here may be retiring in a couple of years, so I could be promoted... Too many scenarios.

Just before Christmas I told my parents that I was happy and content with my life as it is. I have an absolutely fantastic trainer/brother. I have some good friends here. I enjoy the music scene. And let's not forget about the weather (although I was missing snow there for a bit). Overall I enjoy my job and the people around me. Things are good. For me to say the words "happy and content" is huge because I've never been content with my life.

I miss my best friend, college friends, and high school friends horribly. I miss my best friend even more now that I just saw her in Boston over New Years (I cried on the plane). But at the same time, she and I have changed in so many ways since I left MA. One of the reasons I left MA was because I relied too heavily on her friendship and I needed to grow as a person. Is this Satan's trap to stifle my growth?

Kellie and family signed my guestbook today. I cried realizing the number of friends' children that I haven't been able to see grow up because I've moved so many times. I'm missing out on a lot being here, but if I'm in Boston, I'll be missing a lot of stuff here in Austin. I just don't know, would it be a beneficial trade-off?

Everybody I talk to mentions money and cost-of-living because Boston is obviously more expensive than Austin. For me, this journey is not about money, it's about being where I'm supposed to be and my happiness. But to address this issue anyway, I used CNNMoney's free cost-of-living calculator and have found the following:

1. Groceries will cost 29.4% more in Boston.
2. Housing will cost 93.2% more.
3. Utilities will cost 39.4% more.
4. Transportation will cost 9.6% more.
5. Healthcare will cost 31.6% more.

Even with these increases, the salary they would be providing would cover these extra expenses so that I could still live the same lifestyle, plus maybe an extra $6,000 each year (obviously, I'd have to do some salary negotiations). What I have not researched yet is how they do promotions and annual salary increases.

In addition, I have to think about my future. I do eventually want to go back to school to get my doctorate and the closest program here is in Houston. Unfortunately a little too far for me. In Boston, I would have at least Boston University. The other bonus with Boston is that some of my private partners in Texas have told me that if I ever decided to go into private consulting that they would hire me. While I can't do this working for Texas, I would probably be able to start doing this if I go to Boston.

So that's where my life is right now. I'm confused and need some clarity. It's so hard when you heart says one thing and your mind says something else.