To be honest, it's just easier not to lose weight. I constantly have to think about what I'm eating, what I'm doing for exercise, etc. I fear changing. I fear failing. I fear that people's perceptions of me will change. I fear that I will not only be confident, but I'll be cocky as well. I fear a lot of things when it comes to weight loss.
For the past couple of months I have been studying 1 John 4 to address my issue with fears:
(16)And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. (17)In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgement, because in this world we are like him. (18)There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. (19)We love because he first loved us.
A few points I have taken from this passage. God provides us unconditional perfect love. All Christians must love (and accept love from) others as God loves us. It is only then, I will not fear.
Is losing weight punishment because I fear it? Actually, I think it is punishment for my previous sins. Every pound I lose is some sort of emotional baggage that I am getting rid of. In the end, I believe I will be a better person and a better Christian when I finish losing the weight that I need to.