Sunday, July 13, 2014

Did I Do It All Wrong?

An old high school friend has been in town on business, and we finally got together after not seeing each other for 15 years. While we reminisced about friends and classmates from back in the day, I realized that I always tried to be something I wasn't. I was friends with a variety of people in high school, but I was never part of a clique because I kept striving to be "cooler" instead of being just myself. I think I lost out a lot on close friendships because of this. This behavior pursued into college, but I think it ended up changing in graduate school. This led me into some deep thoughts last night - why am I afraid to be exactly who I am? To be exactly who God intended me to be? I really needed that night with my old high school friend where we shared some of the scars from our youth. He grew past his...I don't think I've grown past mine yet. No matter how many times I try to move past the wounds, I'm too afraid to make myself vulnerable to those I love and care about. Maybe this friend was brought back into my life for this reason, to come to terms with my past and move forward. I truly believe real friends will always be friends, no matter how long it has been. I'm excited about where life is about to take me.

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