Motto: It is what it is.

For a long time now I have to been asking the question "Why?". Why am I fat? Why me? I have been searching for an answer. While I know "why" I'm fat - eating too much and exercising little, I always wanted to blame some thing or someone besides just me (note the word "besides" because I am, in fact, to blame for all, if not most).

While at the gym today, I came up with a new motto: It is what it is. Who cares why or how I got fat. It is what it is. The time to change is now and to move my life forward in the most healthy way possible.

A mesh of things...

I'm not quite sure where this post is going to go, so we'll see when we get there.

About two weeks ago, some maintenance guys accidently tripped the fire alarm at work and we had an unplanned drill. Today, we actually had a fire in our office building - a shredder caught on fire on the first floor. It was nice because it was beautiful outside, but after the "drill" the other week, it has come apparent that it takes a really really long time to get down six flights of stairs with everybody bumper-to-bumper in the stair wells. Not very safe, if you ask me.

I had a great day when it came to going out to eat for lunch. I had a char-grilled chicken breast, steamed broccoli, corn, and a biscuit. Everything was cut in half to save tomorrow, with the exception of the biscuit. I think I scored big time this time while eating out! And it was a Southern Food restaurant: Threadgill's.

Last week, over Thanksgiving, I lost four pounds! Five more to go to my goal! I'm aiming for it this week!!!!!! If I did four last week, I sure can do five this week!

Three compliments in three days (one on Tuesday, two today), and I'm still not sure how to really take them. (I've blogged about this before.) It's harder for me to accept the compliments from strangers than from friends/acquaintances. I am starting to see and feel the changes, so my thank you's have been a bit more sincere. Can't wait to hit my first milestone goal!!!!

Guys...

I was recently talking to my best friend on the phone and announced to her (yet again) that I was giving up men. I'm not giving them up because I don't enjoy them...heeheehee...heck, in college I probably had more guy friends than girl friends; I think it's because of my laid-back, go-with-the-flow personality. After having a few dates the other week, it dawned on me that it's not fair for my dates' to never become #1 in my life. My focus at this moment is on me and it has to be if I'm ever going to beat this weight problem. I cannot be distracted, and quite frankly, guys distract me from focusing on me. Now if the "one" walks into my life, then he walks into my life, but I'm not going to seek it like I have been. Besides, I have seen marriages fail after one loses a ton of weight and changes. It's probably better that I change as a single.

I need to put myself first, but I need to balance my dedication to myself with the relationships I already have better than I have been. Hmmmmm...maybe I'm trying to please too many people again? I am a people-pleaser, but have been getting better at telling people "no." Things to ponder.