Getting to Know Your Primary Care Provider

About two years ago, I was forced to find a new primary care provider (PCP) because my women's health provider no longer wanted to take on this responsibility.  To be honest, I didn't blame her, but I simply did not like the PCP that I had chosen when I first moved to Texas.  I just hated the idea that it was going to take forever to find one who would really listen to me rather than ignore me.  You can say, she pushed me out of the bird's nest, and I'm glad she did.

The biggest reason why I stopped seeing my PCP is because when I met him for the first time, my current allergy medication was not an over-the-counter drug.  I explained to him that while in Michigan, I went to see an allergist, and these were the three prescriptions the allergist gave me, even though I really only needed the allergy pill and eye drops, and not the nasal spray.  Instead of listening to me, he wrote me a script for an allergy medication that was in the highest tiered co-pay (I think it was $70 at the time).  This turned me off so much, that I never went back, with the exception of the time that I needed a vaccine.  Thankfully, my allergy medication of choice soon became an OTC after this episode, so I just paid out-of-pocket for it.  This was about $20 per month, rather than $70 per month!  The other issue at hand was that my labs were showing that my thyroid was not functioning correctly, and that I might have hypothyroidism.  This actually became a battle between my women's health provider and my PCP at the time, should I or should I not be medicated?  This is when my women's health provider became like a PCP to me for a period of time, before she asked me to find a new one.

After chatting with some friends, I was referred to a fantastic physician in a father/son practice who specialized in integrative medicine.  He thinks like I do - prevention over treatment.  The number of resources on their website is incredible, and the fact that he incorporates holistic medicine into his practice means he's open minded.  I feel like a team member rather than a patient.  I actually never thought I'd have this feeling with an MD, which is why I always looked for a DO.  (My original PCP in Texas an MD as well.)  I do not fear talking with my new PCP.  I'm grateful that I found a provider that complements me.

The reason why I am writing this blog is because I want you to be an advocate for your health.  If you choose to supplement like I have, insist on being heard so that your PCP has all the information that he or she needs to keep you safe (especially as it relates to possible medication/supplement interactions).  In 2002, 18.9% of adults in the U.S. used natural herbs or supplements in the past year, but only one-third told their provider about it (Kennedy, Wang, & Wu, 2008).  We should not fear our PCPs.  In the end, we have the final say on whether or not we take their advice.  They are the experts in their field in which we should seek their advice, not expect them to to fix our health problems.  We need to be a part of the solution.  I consistently use the word "provider" rather than physician because your primary care provider does not have to be a physician (truly depends on your insurance company).  I encourage you to have an open dialogue about your health with the provider that you choose.

Sugars and Nutrition Labels

I will confess that as a child, I did not know or understand anything about a nutrition label.  My dad tried teaching me when I was a preteen, but I shrugged him off, as any hormonal preteen does to their parents.  To be honest, I wish I hadn't.  However, I remember when I finally started reading nutrition labels before I bought items in the grocery store, I actually taught my parents something - buy "no salt added" if you are going to buy canned vegetables.  I wonder, though, how many people actually read and pay attention to labels, and how effective the new nutrition facts labels will be in 2018.  I think there is a typo on the new label, can you find it?

So what's different with the new label?  Not too much.  Some bigger font at the top, adding micrograms/milligrams, and having a line for added sugars.  That's the one that upsets me; there is still no guideline for TOTAL sugar intake.  The U.S. is still going by the 10% of your total caloric intake for the amount of added sugar you may have in your diet.  The guidelines for added sugar are all over the place, as Erickson and Slavin highlight in Table 1.  In 2015, the World Health Organization changed their added sugars guidelines to 5%.  What's right?  And why is there still no guideline around TOTAL sugar rather than just ADDED sugar?  Most arguments seem to be based on the argument that people are not eating enough fruits and vegetables, so having a TOTAL sugar guideline would even reduce the consumption even more.  However, when I was super diligent on counting my TOTAL sugar intake, the primary food sources were my two fruits per day, and I did not consume fruits that were high in sugar.

I only found two sources in which any country ever referenced a guideline for TOTAL sugar.  There could be others, so please feel free to leave a comment.  The United Kingdom's National Health Service states 90 grams of sugar per day in which 30 grams could be "free" sugars (aka, ADDED sugars).  The other article that I found was from a fellow blogger who wrote that Germany has a 90 grams per day recommendation as well.

Since removing sugar, in general, from my diet worked well last time, I plan on doing that again.  I do, though, travel for work, so I will be supplementing to help reduce the amount of sugar that is absorbed during those trips by using Plexus Block.  The Brown Seaweed blend targets two enzymes responsible for the digestive breakdown of carbs and sugars.  These two enzymes, alpha-amylase and alpha-glucosidase, are then inhibited in their ability to convert carbs and sugars into glucose (which then turns to fat if not used).  Plexus Block can block absorption of 48% of the carbs and sugars you consume.  Please also see this article.  I also think Sandi Busch provides a good overview of kidney bean extract, another key ingredient in Plexus Block, and how it blocks alpha-amylase.

I will keep you up-to-date on my journey back to health, I plan to fully use the tools that Plexus has given me.



**Please note, always talk with your primary care provider about the supplements you take.  The FDA does not evaluate these products.  These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.**

A Mental Change

I am now a firm believer that if you don't have good mental health, you will not have good physical health.  For the past few years, I had developed a depressive funk that I just could not get out of.  It took a lot of effort to get out of bed.  I thought a lot of it had to deal with all the things happening in my life, but I truly think there was something at the micro level that was off.  I started investigating gut health, autoimmune diseases, Plexus products, gluten-free diets, and a paleo lifestyle.  While it's taking me longer to get on a paleo lifestyle, I am using a new tool to block 48% of the carbs that I consume while traveling, since I have less control over what I eat when on the road for work.  To learn more about this product, please send me an email or visit my page.

A life lesson I received from a person I never expected...

In April, I had the opportunity to see one of our former presidents speak.  Well, it was more of a Q&A type session.  I never thought I'd learn a life lesson from our former president, but God continues to work on my heart and it was something profound.  Our former president was discussing some of past decisions that he had to make as president, and when his father called to talk to him, his father said, "I didn't call you to give you advice since you have many great advisers for that.  I called because I love you."  That's definitely not word-for-word, but it did get me to thinking about all of my relationships (friends, family, boyfriends) and noticed one of my faults.  I used to always want to give advice rather than just love the person.  Sometimes the best thing to do is just to love on that person and let that person figure things out; that person may not want your advice.  A few weeks ago, I asked my bible study group to pray for me to love people for the sake of loving.  I still need to work on it, but I think I've been doing a pretty good job so far.

Happy Birthday to Me

As I type this post, I have my two best friends sitting with me on the couch.  To my left, on the couch arm, is my 19 year old cat, Monty, who I received as a birthday gift many years ago, and to my right, is my almost four year old dog, Harper.  This past month has been a trial with Monty; his health is on the decline and the only thing currently working to reduce his howling episodes is pain medication.  When he is on the medication, he seems to be his old youthful self - having a spark to his walk, batting around a string, and more social.  Monty's mortality has been on my mind quite a bit because the last thing I want for him is to suffer.  With all the research that I have been doing, cats hide their pain from their owners, so I'm constantly reviewing his behavioral patterns.  I can't deny the fact that I've had a few sleepless nights in which I've cried over the thought of losing him and/or having to make the decision to euthanize him.  I have thought about the years of joy he has brought me, and how he would be by my side on some of the hardest days and nights I've faced alone.  Pets provide the best comfort because they can't talk.  They are just accepting of the situation and can tell when you need a bit of love.  So I have tried to reciprocate this to Monty this past month, as his small body deals with the pains of old age.

I have not had the opportunity to finish the blog post that I drafted on Harper.  Instead, I am creating a blog (Life After The Animal Shelter) in hopes that more people would adopt from a shelter rather than buy from a breeder.  Harper came into my life pretty swiftly, and I would not change this one bit.  People say that dogs take on the owner's personality.  I don't know if this is true, but I do know that as a rescue dog, Harper has needed a little TLC along the way.  I don't have his backstory; he came into the shelter as a stray.  Harper has provided my life structure and pushed me to come out of my comfort zone.  He has softened my heart, and I'm beginning to show signs of being a loving person again.

The past couple of years have been rather rocky for me mentally and emotionally.  I became afraid and did not know what it was like to be vulnerable around people.  I did not want to put my heart, my love, my whole being out there, even if it was just to my friends.  I was and am always disheartened when I put all of myself into a relationship (friends/significant other/family) and I only get a small portion back from the other person.  I closed myself off and put up a stone wall so I would not have to feel any pain from anybody.  I purposely kept people at a distance as I worked through my inner struggles.  It's easier to work through these struggles with a pet; they love unconditionally and comfort unconditionally.  Harper has helped more than most people realize.  No matter how many times I leave or how long I'm gone, he's always happy and overly excited when I come home.  He blossoms more each day that I have him, overcoming his fears and becoming more confident.  It's amazing what a little encouragement can do for a dog.  It's amazing what a little encouragement could do for a human being...  

About a month ago, I went out for a friend's birthday, and it reminded me of what I used to enjoy - getting to know people and hearing their stories.  As I celebrated my birthday in downtown Austin last night, I was, to a degree, surprised that I still had "it," and that I should not be afraid of people and of getting hurt.  I also realized that I have my own story to tell, and it's worth sharing.

This is my story.

Happy New Year's Day!

I like and enjoy New Year’s.  I get to reflect on the past and dream for the future while being in the present.  I had a very quiet holiday season this year, and it suited me very well.  I sorted through inner turmoil and have solved many of the issues.  I am no longer going to worry about people’s perceptions of me or walk around people’s feelings.  I have no idea what is going to happen in 2015, but what I do know is that my past is no longer going to keep holding me back.  I am at a great spot and am hopeful this year. 

 

A resolution is a promise to oneself.  People make resolutions all the time for New Year’s, and I’m no different.  I have never made a promise that I did not keep.  When people ask me to promise something or for a favor, I always ask what it is for before making the commitment.  I don’t make careless resolutions either...

 

I resolve to be closer to Him so that I can be closer to you.

 

I promise to face my fears.

 

I declare to be free from my past.

 

 

New Life

A couple weeks ago, I noticed my calla lily coming back to life. I feel like this flower has resembled my life this past year. I was doing okay after the breakup then the storm came in the form of a guy I dated in the spring. This led to my baptism and a renewal in faith.  

Ironically, this flower was given to me by my ex and it had died back to nothing over the summer. It was a fruitless summer as I personally struggled to find value and purpose in my life. I was just going through the motions in life. Work...food...sleep...an occasional workout. It was hard to be social. To be honest, I still wonder what my purpose is, even though I know what my different groups of friends would say. My Christian friends would say it's to share the Gospel. Spiritual but non-religious friends would probably say it's to show the Word through action. And my non-spiritual, non-religious friends would go with - you need to find something that you enjoy and strive for it. I've always wanted to inspire people. What better way to do that than defeat this weight issue.

When I pruned the calla lily in the early part of August, I noticed that it was hanging onto life by a thread. Similar to how I felt. I put the calla lily closer to a window (nutrition) and gave it some water. Nutrition and water sustain life. And God is called "living water" multiple times in the bible. It's not a coincidence. Remembering the weight loss I had five years ago, when I focused on myself, the more friends I had. I was also more giving. I'm heading back to that spot.

The song that has helped me over this past week is called "Who You Are" by Unspoken. I'll try to remember to post the video when I get home. Part of the song is "you can change who you are at the foot of the cross."

Playing the Victim

After some considerable thought, I made a realization about why I keep procrastinating major life events. For both my dissertation and healthy living/losing weight, I think that deep down, I like playing the victim. I like the attention. It gives people a conversation starter with me. 

As soon as I determine not to be a victim anymore, the enemy always finds a way to attack. I just injured my calf/knee again after a day at bootcamp. Almost every three days, it either gives out or gets reaggravated. So I'm trying to work through it, but feel defeated.

I am slowly reintegrating myself into society. After talking with a friend, I realized that I place other people's burdens on me rather than giving it to God. Perhaps this will strengthen my relationship with God and I'll no longer choose to withdraw from the community that surrounds me. The fear of rejection is huge after a specific college experience I had. It's time to forgive and move on.

Intentional Living

At church, there's a lot of talk on intentional relationships. These relationships function based on making specific time for each other. I have a few friends in which we have to be very intentional since our life stages are currently different; if we weren't, we'd never get to see each other.

This past weekend, I started photo food journaling with my trainer. Anything that goes in my mouth, he gets a picture of. It's called accountability, and it's made me very intentional about the way I eat. So I've contemplated this thought about being intentional and am branding a new phrase - "intentional living." I know some are thinking that once you've received Christ, your life begins a season of intentional living, but I see it more than that. Any and every action I do and have directly impacts me and the world around me. If I lose weight through nutrition and exercise, I'd be more comfortable doing mission. If the house is kept up with, I have no reason to procrastinate my dissertation. Do I really need a venti at Starbucks or would a tall or grande suffice? Or better yet, do I really need Starbucks after all?

If we can be intentional with our relationships, we definitely can be intentional with ourselves, our bodies, and our thoughts. I am starting my intentional life today!

First Sunday - Crazy, Hairy, Bold Prayer (Love)

Lord, I pray to you that I find the man that you have intended for me to marry and spend the rest of my life with. I pray that not only am I loved, but to love as your son loved. As I learned last night, I want to forget my past heartaches through forgiveness of those who have pretended to love me and have my best interests at hand. It is only through you and the strength that you give me that I can do this. I ask that you heal my heart and allow it to be open and vulnerable to those that I am close to. I ask that you strip me of all my fears. It is in your name that I pray. Amen.

Transformation

The first step on a new path is always the hardest.  My new path, though, is not necessarily new, but an old one that I had walked about six or seven years ago.  The past few days I reevaluated why I was so successful at weight loss then but not now and here's what I have noticed:

1)  I had time.  I've been stressing about my dissertation and about life that I have been paralyzed in fear of moving in any direction.  In essence, I've been wasting time just thinking about things and not doing things.  Once my degree is done, I'll have all the time in the world again.  Just get her done already!

2)  When I moved to Texas, I had no cable or internet at my apartment.  While I cannot do without the internet due to my dissertation, I can, however, get rid of the cable.  My contract is up very soon.  I actually worked out more because of this since if I wanted to watch a specific football game, I had to go to the gym to watch it.  I actually may unplug sooner just to unplug...

3)  I had cooking days in which I made all my meals for the week and stuck to a grocery budget.  These are things I can start with right off the bat.

4)  I had a support system.  I verbally announced my intentions during my bible study group this past Monday.

Movement forward, even if on an old path, is better than staying stagnant.  Look out world, the old me is on the verge of being present again!

Adoption is a Promise of Forever

Meet Monty; he is named after Tavares Montgomery (Monty) Williams, Jr., a former NBA player and current head coach of the New Orleans Pelicans.  I received Monty as a birthday gift from my sister when I was in high school; this was about a year after our cat Sandy ran off before a snow storm.  I had found Sandy as a stray at our old house, so she was an indoor/outdoor cat.

Monty is now 18.5 years old (91 in human years), and he's been mine for over half my life.  Adoption is a promise of forever...a lifetime commitment.  Trust me when I say that there are days I want to give up on him as he ages, but I remember plenty of his quirky personality characteristics that make me smile and make me a proud momma.  As a kitten, his favorite game was fetch down the stairs or taking a walk on his leash and to this day, his favorite snack is plastic bags (not that I encourage this behavior).  I found out later that some chemicals or oils used in manufacturing plastic bags resemble catnip, but he probably does have the disorder pica and was genetically predisposed to this condition since he is part Siamese.  (I know, he doesn't look Siamese, but the crook in his tail gave it away!) 

Lately, with my new job having me travel more, I feel guilty that he's alone so much.  I've been debating about getting a dog so that he has somebody, but also so that I get out of the house and walk more.  I even visited a few dogs at one location.  During this process, I have read one too many times in which animals have been either owner-surrendered or owner-abandoned.  Both of these have prompted me to write this blog, especially since I believe adoption is a promise and a commitment to forever.  I will not deny the fact that my parents helped me by taking care of Monty the years I was in college, but they made it clear from the beginning that he was my cat and my responsibility.

I consider an owner-surrendered animal to be one in which the owner could either no longer care for it appropriately or the owner, through no fault of their own, had to get rid of the animal.  I appreciate that these owners want to do what is best for their pets, but I wish they would try to rehome their pet themselves either through a rehoming program or using their networks.  My sister rehomed one of her cats to a family friend and that gave them the ability to follow-up with my sister about anything that may have come up in the first few months.  In the local area, Austin Pets Alive! has a rehoming program.  Shelters can stress out an animal very easily, and let's not forget that there are still many shelters who euthanize animals when there isn't room.

An owner-abandoned animal, in my opinion, is one in which the owner moves and abandons the animal on the current property thus forcing the animal to become a stray.  I have seen this most frequently with cats, but it seems that this is now occurring more frequently with dogs too.  These animals are left to fend for themselves on the streets.  I have a hard time forgiving the owners who do this to an animal.  At the very least, surrender the animal to the shelter.

Since I'm not sure I want another 18+ year commitment, I have decided that if I was going to adopt either a cat or a dog, it will not be a young one.  While older ones may have some behavioral issues that need to be addressed due to being left at the shelter or abandoned, I rather make the shorter commitment.  The other thing that I've been thinking about is fostering animals for a bit.  This way, I'm saving another life at a shelter that still uses euthanasia as a means to fix the problem and not making a lifelong commitment to an animal.  Our neighborhood has adopted a stray cat, socialized and fixed a feral cat, and are working on capturing another feral to have him fixed as well. 

Animal owners need to realize that they have committed to taking care of their pets for the duration of their lives.  I never imagined Monty would live this long, but he has brought me a lot of joy throughout the years and I wouldn't trade that in heartbeat.

Did I Do It All Wrong?

An old high school friend has been in town on business, and we finally got together after not seeing each other for 15 years. While we reminisced about friends and classmates from back in the day, I realized that I always tried to be something I wasn't. I was friends with a variety of people in high school, but I was never part of a clique because I kept striving to be "cooler" instead of being just myself. I think I lost out a lot on close friendships because of this. This behavior pursued into college, but I think it ended up changing in graduate school. This led me into some deep thoughts last night - why am I afraid to be exactly who I am? To be exactly who God intended me to be? I really needed that night with my old high school friend where we shared some of the scars from our youth. He grew past his...I don't think I've grown past mine yet. No matter how many times I try to move past the wounds, I'm too afraid to make myself vulnerable to those I love and care about. Maybe this friend was brought back into my life for this reason, to come to terms with my past and move forward. I truly believe real friends will always be friends, no matter how long it has been. I'm excited about where life is about to take me.

First Sunday - Crazy, Hairy, Bold Prayer (Weight Loss)

The lead pastor of my church, Will Davis Jr (http://www.willdavisjr.com), is inspiring. His fearlessness is something I wish I could obtain overnight, but it takes time, dedication, obedience, and faithfulness. Will is the only man that I know who has gone public with his prayer to end the drought and fill the lakes. By public, I mean, he has done this in front of City Council and the whole city. I wish I had that confidence, but I'd be afraid that God would let me down and make a mockery of me and the religion I have chosen.

So...I'm walking out in faith. For the remainder of the year, each month, I'm going to outline one crazy, hairy, bold prayer that I'll be praying for. Sometimes I'll give it a timeline, other times, I'll let it work itself out. 

4 Take delight in The Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. 5 Commit your way to The Lord; trust in Him and He will do this: 6 He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun. (Psalm 37:4-6)

24 Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete. (John 16:24)

Therefore, the following is my prayer - 

To further your Kindom, Lord, I ask you to walk by my side in my weight loss journey. Without my health, I cannot do the work you have tasked me to do. Please give me the strength to say "yes" to life and "no" to the sins I struggle with. My faith is strong and you know the intimate details of this request.  As a first step in our journey, it is my desire to wear the dress pictured below on my birthday (March). I give you all the glory. In your name, Amen.

My walk...

This post is mainly to share a few pictures from my baptism. The devil is trying to keep me busy, but I will conquer it. I'm excited to see what God has planned for me especially as I overcome my fears.

“I tell you, whoever publicly acknowledges me before others, the Son of Man will also acknowledge before the angels of God. (Luke 12:8 NIV)

Where do I belong?

I ask myself this question quite a bit - where do I belong?  I feel like I'm constantly wandering the desert trying to figure this out.  Some days I feel like I belong in Africa.  Other days, I feel like I belong in Austin.  Yet other times, it's either San Diego or Atlanta.  A few things I have figured out the past few months:  1) I doubt I'll ever go back to the northeast.  After having been out with a couple of New Yorkers; they are too high strung for me.  Austin has definitely taught me to slow down and calm down.  2) I don't think I want to own a house.  Don't get me wrong, I love my house and it's been a great investment, but I'm tired of doing "house" things.  I rather be with people and hang out with people.  3) While I could easily work for the federal government in Atlanta or DC, I'm not sure I'm ready to deal with bureaucracy again.

This trip to San Diego has been rather interesting.  I love how friendly everybody is.  Austin used to be that way, but I feel that over the eight years I have been there, it's become a bit more vain.  And I can't complain about the San Diego weather either.  At the same time, I'm not ready to let go.  I know I have about a year left to go with my degree, so I don't need to make any rash decisions.  I'm hoping God will clarify soon where I belong.

A Missed Connection

On Tuesday, I stopped at Starbucks on my way into work.  I accidentally overslept by two hours, which wasn't an issue since we were having a long day in training and that started a couple hours after I usually would have gotten to work.  Although I rarely do it, that evening I decided to check the missed connections section on Craigslist and I saw one that seemed like it could have been for me; it happened earlier that same day.  It was!

With all these coincidences occurring, and since this individual did not have the opportunity to approach me, I sent him a reply.  We went back and forth for a couple of days and I was able to verify it truly was me who he saw.  Because I'm a hopeless romantic, I wondered if this was my "movie-like" encounter do-over, since the first one did not work out.  It seemed to be something right out of the movies after all.  How many people can claim that their missed connection was no longer a missed connection?

Thankfully, this individual was open enough to let me know he was attached before it went past just e-mailing one another.  When he disclosed this, I e-mailed him one last time and mentioned that he needed to share the raw emotions he shared with me with his wife or girlfriend.  I asked him to think about what he was doing to her and to himself by putting these missed connections out there on Craigslist and to be fair to her.  How could they work on those problems if she didn't know they existed?  I hope I got through to him.

Alas, perhaps my third "movie-like" encounter will be the charm.  Until then, this year will be the year focused on my health, career, school, and the Lord.  I definitely don't need any additional drama.  (Can you feel me rolling my eyes?)

ENFJ Personality

Apparently, I have ENFJ personality (according to two tests I took).  I'm not sure how that's calculated since my percentages were so low, but the description seems to fit!

From www.16personalities.com:

Group Type:  Diplomats:  Intuitive and Feeling types - they are cooperative, empathetic and imaginative, focusing on empathy, morality and cooperation.

Personality Traits:  
Mind - Extroverted (10%):  prefer group activities, think while speaking, get energized by social interaction.
Energy - Intuitive (9%):  imaginative, rely on their intuition, absorbed in ideas, focus on what might happen.
Nature - Feeling (11%):  sensitive, follow their hearts, focus on harmony and cooperation.
Tactics - Judging (1%):  decisive, prefer clear rules and guidelines, see deadlines as sacred, seek closure.
Identity - Turbulent (55%):  self-conscious, care about their image, success-driven, perfectionists.

Representing approximately 2 percent of all people, the ENFJ personality type tends to be very influential, often without making any conscious effort to increase their influence. As part of the Diplomats (NF) group, ENFJs are genuinely interested in other people and radiate authenticity, concern, and altruism. Not surprisingly, those who surround ENFJs usually find them very inspiring and likable.

ENFJs are usually very charismatic and eloquent and find it natural and easy to communicate their ideas and opinions, especially in person. It does not really matter whether they are presenting cold facts or expressing raging emotions; the ENFJ will not be afraid to stand up and speak, regardless of the audience.

This is one of the reasons why ENFJs can be so convincing and mesmerizing when they speak: they instinctively know how to combine passion and rational arguments, drawing the audience’s attention and reaching every mind. People with this personality type can be great leaders, and they do not necessarily have to get into politics to make a difference. An ENFJ teacher or coach can have a strong positive effect on many people’s lives as well.

ENFJ personalities are very intuitive. They find it easy to sense other people’s motives and find connections between seemingly unrelated events. ENFJs also tend to be quite good at analyzing their own feelings and questioning them if necessary.

On the other hand, such intuitiveness and sensitivity can also cause significant difficulties for people with this personality type. They may be too altruistic and empathetic, getting too involved in other people’s problems. They may then find it difficult to detach and stop worrying. In extreme cases, this can even affect the ENFJs’ perception of themselves.

ENFJs are optimistic idealists, often trusting other people more than they should—although this usually turns out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. As already mentioned above, ENFJs can be very convincing and inspiring. People are drawn toward strong personalities, and the ENFJ’s charisma can often be a uniting and motivating factor.

Forgiveness

It's always super fun when things interrelate without anything being planned; God's amazing that way.  Last Monday, I was discussing at our bible study that I need to learn how to forgive.  For five years, all I wanted to hear from somebody was that they had wronged me, and when I finally heard it a few months ago, I still did not feel release from the chains that held me.  So this past week was focused on bible verses about forgiveness, and as usual, one stuck out to me.

Matthew 9:  4-8 (NIV)

4 Knowing their thoughts, Jesus said, "Why do you entertain evil thoughts in your hearts?  5 Which is easier:  to say, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say, 'Get up and walk'?  6 But I want you to know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins."  So he said to the paralyzed man, "Get up, take your mat and go home."  7 Then the man got up and went home.  8 When the crowd saw this, they were filled with awe; and they praised God, who had given such authority to man.

This weekend's sermon was on authority, and how through Jesus Christ, we have the authority to do good works (John 14).  It is my duty to forgive the people who have scarred me in the past.  Going into next weekend, it's all about breaking these past chains and bondages as I move forward in my walk.

It's time to be dunked...

People tend to be shocked when I give my testimony since I have been a Christian for about 10 years now, but yet I have not been baptized.  In part, I always had hesitancy in being re-baptized outside of the Catholic Church, but this past week, God has called me to take this step of obedience and commitment.  And ironically, I believe this rounds out the year I call "the year of obedience" as it relates to my faith.

My post yesterday outlines how God made me listen earlier in the week by blessing me with a case of strep which left me speechless.  I revisited Colossians 2, which has been weighing on my mind and heart for the past couple of weeks.

Colossians 2: 6-15 (NIV) 

6 So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, 7 rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.  8 See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces  of this world rather than on Christ.  9 For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, 10 and in Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority.  11 In him you were also circumcised with a circumcision not performed by human hands.  Your whole self ruled by the flesh was put off when you were circumcised by Christ, 12 having been buried with him in baptism, in which you were also raised with him through your faith in the working of God, who raised him from the dead.  13 When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you  alive with Christ.  He forgave us all our sins, 14 having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross.  15 And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross. 

Colossians 2: 18-19 (NIV) 

18 Do not let anyone who delights in false humility and the worship of angels disqualify you.  Such a person also goes into great detail about what they have seen; they are puffed up with idle notions by their unspiritual mind.  19 They have lost connection with the head, from whom the whole body, supported and held together by its ligaments and sinews, grows as God causes it to grow.
 

On Friday, I dumped the guy I had been dating.

On Saturday, I heard our pastor preach, and maybe for the first time ever, I clearly heard God speak to me.  Everything was connecting in my head all at once.  I think the most powerful portion of the sermon was when re-visited John 1: 12-13 - God gives us the right/authority/power/ability to become His children, but through belief in Jesus' name.  We believe in His name by confessing His nature, embracing His mission, and seeking His glory. 

On Sunday, I was blessed to hear the sermon again since I was not needed in Camp Fun.  It confirmed everything I already knew. 

Indecisiveness wiped.  A new beginning.  A child of God - innocent and believing.  Freedom through baptism.  Perfect for this blog - Transformation.